Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Attack of the Zombies

When I was growing up, a Zombie was “a thing” that hid under my bed when my parents were out. Of course…things have changed…today Zombies are personal computers that are controlled by another. Unlike the Zombies of my youth (which were usually controlled by aliens) today’s Zombies are controlled by computer hackers. The government, (that’s our leaders, not the ones from Mars) believe hackers seize the brains of approximately 175,000 computers each day… turning them into…Zommmbieees. The real Zombies, or should I say the ones I grew up with, usually attacked couples at drive-in’s and obliterated their brains. Today’s Zombies attack web servers… collect personal information… them……… send……SPAM!!!!!…..Oh no, it’s…it’s .…SPAMMM!……In an effort to stop the attacks, the Federal Trade Commission has asked Internet Providers to provide free downloads of Zombie killing software to their customer. In the old days, it was not that easy to kill a Zombie. Bullets couldn’t stop them, fire couldn’t stop them. They seemed to be…well…unstoppable. Of course, after about ninety minutes (not including the intermission) an action hero like Steve McQueen finally destroyed them. Today’s Zombies are out of control. In May the average number of Zombie computers increased by 10% a day. This led the FTC to begin “Operation Spam Zombies”. Since experts seem to have little faith in this operation and Steve McQueen is no longer with us…The Attack of the Zombies will continue… at least until Arnold finds out about them.

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