How to REALLY improve the iPhone

I'm really not that excited about the new iPhone 5 Apple is expected to unveil tomorrow. Why? I have owned three iPhones over the past few years and truthfully, not much has changed from the first generation phone to the latest.
Yeah, I heard...the new one might have a bigger display screen and be a little thinner...Wow (sarcasm)

Come on, its time for Apple to really innovate. If I was Apple CEO, Tim Cook I would! In fact here are some of the improvements I would like to see in the new iPhone 5:

I'd like the new iPhone to be equipped with a Taste Bud Assistant. Visualize this...you order a hamburg at Sal's Greeze Spoon. You point your iPhone at your hamburg, snap a picture and the Taste Bud Assistant tells you whether you need to add salt.... Now that's an improvement.

And I'd like the new iPhone to be equipped with a Huddle Includer. Here is how it would work...Say you're watching the Patriots and Brady throws a perfect pass to Wes Welker who drops it (again)...the team huddles, you point your phone at the huddle and shazam, you can hear every word the players say privately...Are you_____ kidding me, Wes. How did you drop that one? I can't _____throw the ball catch it too. Now that's an improvement.


And, I'd like my iPhone to have a Fact Checker. Let's say you are talking to a friend and well, you're not really sure if what he is saying is true...you turn on the Fact Checker and if your friend starts stretching the truth the iPhone buzzes and the automated voices belts out... "liar, liar, liar". Now that's an improvement.

And lastly the new Apple iPhone 5 should be Transformable...I mean, it should be able to take on different shapes. You know, like those Transformer toys kids play with. I carry my iPhone in my shirt pocket. I hate it...so here is what I'm thinking, wouldn't it be great if you could bend and twist your iPhone and shape it into a pair of sunglasses. Then the phone rings and you quickly bend and twist it back into a phone! Now that's an improvement.

If Apple intended to make any of these improvements I would be excited about tomorrow's release of the new iPhone 5...but I doubt it.