Soccer is Not For Me

I want to let you know, I tried, honest...
I really, truly tried to get into the World Cup Soccer game between Spain and the Netherlands Sunday, but I just couldn’t.
Straight talk, (as John McCain would say)...In my opinion, Soccer stinks.

I know the whole world loves the game, but it does nothing for me.
Hey, I’m fair minded. I’ll admit some of the blame is mine, especially since the only thing I understand about soccer is that one team tries to get to the ball into the other teams goal.
And on the rare occasion when that happens, the announcer yells ggggoooooaaaaallll for what seems like an eternity.

Here is a perfect example of why I don’t like soccer...
Sunday I’m watching the game in my living room...score, zero to zero (what else is new).
My wife calls out “how much time is left in the game”.
I look at the clock. I didn’t have a clue “I don’t know”, I said.
"How can you NOT know? You’re watch it aren’t you? What does the clock say?"
I responded, "the clock says 90:20 minutes".
"Well, how many minutes do they play in a soccer game".
"90 minutes", I answered...
"Then why are they still playing, if its over in 90 minutes?
In a perplexed tone I yelled back, "I don’t know, something about playing an extra three minutes".
"For what?"
"I don’t know. The announcers said the Referee wanted to, I think".
And so on and so on.

Come on, tell the truth...do you really know how they "time" a professional soccer game? I don’t.

And I am not even going to mention those obnoxious horns...buzzzzzzzzzzzzbuzzzzzzzzzzzbuzzzzzzzing...It goes on the entire game. Their irritating noise actually made me look forward to the commercials. Whoever sells those should have their vending license revoked.

OK, I’m going to end on a high note...The Patriots first preseason game is August 12! and they play 60 minutes of football regardless of how the Ref feels.