I Gotta Get A Life

I’ve always thought self-reflection was a healthy thing. Lately, after much “reflection”, I have arrived at a conclusion...I think I need to get a life outside of the registry of deeds. Once you read the three incidents below I am sure you'll agree.


Incident One: 456
This morning I was watching the news on TV and the announcer reported that Law and Order went off the air after 456 episodes. I turned to my wife and said…



Me: Hey, that’s the price of tax stamps.
Wife: What
Me: A seller pays 456 per thousand for tax stamps…you know, four dollars and fifty-six cents.
Wife: What if there had only been 125 episodes of Law and Order, what would you have said then?
Me: I would have said that’s the fee for recording a deed at the registry…of course, that doesn’t include the 456 for tax stamps.
I think I need to get a life.



Incident Two: The Plumber
Last month I was having a problem with my water heater. The plumber came out and looked it over. He said..
Plumber: The problem is with the pressure relief value.
Me: The pressure “release” value?
Plumber: No, I said the pressure “relief” value.
Me: How much is that going to cost me?
Plumber: $600
Me: Oh, too bad it wasn’t a release.
Plumber: Why?
Me: At the registry of deeds a "release" is only $75…$525 cheaper.
I think I need to get a life


Incident Three: Van Gogh
I took my granddaughter to the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston last weekend. We saw some wonderful works of art. We saw Van Gogh’s, Picasso’s, Rembrandt’s. As we stood admiring Van Gogh’s “The Postman” I said…




Me: I would scan that painting at 300 DPI.
Granddaughter: What’s a DPI Papa?
Me: Its a setting we use on the scanners at the registry of deeds, Honey. It means “dots per inch”.
Granddaughter: (turning and pointing at “The Sower”) What DPI would you scan this painting at?
Me: 400 DPI with a contrast of 6. The light edges would be tough to pick up.
Granddaughter: (pointing at another painting)…This one?
Me: 200 DPI and keep the density setting at 8.
Granddaughter: and this one?
Me: 300 DPI
Granddaughter: Wow, Papa you really know your scanning.
Me: Thanks Honey,
Granddaughter: But Papa…
Me: What?
Granddaughter: I think you need to get a life.
Me: I think you're right Honey, I think you're right.